“James, my fault but I told the Standard that Nigel would be arriving at approx. 10.30 this morning. They have called and I expect a snapper and a female journalist (of some form of ethnic extraction) at Piccadilly. Am sorry”
When trying to describe a stranger being met in a public location, we had some difficulty seeing what
was being objected to. A picture of Ms Randhawa can be found to the left. She is undoubtedly - as near as we can tell without conducting biological tests - a female, definitely a journalist, and she certainly appears to be of ethnic extraction. We couldn't be precise as to which ethnicity. Mr Towler told the Evening Standard the "descriptive" phrase was meant to help his colleague identify the reporter of whose descent he was unsure after speaking to her by telephone. However, to keep Hope not Hate happy, we have rewritten Mr Towler's text message so it is more inclusive:
"James, my fault but I told the Standard that Nigel would be arriving at approx. 10.30 this morning. They have called and I expect a snapper and a female journalist at Piccadilly. You won't have any difficulty spotting a couple with a camera there, so no further description is required. Am sorry."
Sadly, that still made reference to gender, so I tried again:
"James, my fault but I told the Standard that Nigel would be arriving at approx. 10.30 this morning. They have called and you need to meet two people at Piccadilly. One is a journalist. Am Sorry".
I accept that may be a little vague, so I tried again, but full-on with the inclusivity bit:
"James, my fault but I told the Standard that Nigel would be arriving at approx. 10.30 this morning. They have called and I expect a snapper and a journalist whose family may have originated from the Indian sub-continent, but possibly more widely from the continent of Asia. Perhaps even Fiji, although I think there are quite a lot of people with Indian names in South Africa too, so maybe from there. I don't think she's from further north in Africa than that, if that's the continent her family originated from, although maybe Zimbabwe. I think it's more Indian though, as there's a town in Uttar Pradesh called Randhawa - it looks like the most likely candidate. Randhawa is also a clan of the Jat tribe of India and Pakistan. So if you look out for someone with a camera standing next to somebody whose appearance looks as if their family may once have come from India (or Bangladesh, or Pakistan), or possibly Asia, and maybe even Africa no further north than Zimbabwe (although maybe Kenya), but whose ancestors probably came from a village in Uttar Pradesh, then you won't go far wrong. If in doubt, just ask them what tribe they're from. Hope that's clear? I Googled it, but couldn't pin it down closer than that. Am sorry. Oh, and it could be a man or a woman, but it would be gender stereotyping to say which. Kiran is a gender neutral name in Sanskrit, but it does mean 'ray', as in 'ray-' or 'beam of light'. Hope that helps. Oh, at Piccadilly. Don't text back, my battery has gone flat and my phone has no memory left."
So there we go. Perfectly clear. Surely no-one could be offended by that?
Next week: Gawain Towler gets into trouble for describing Nick Lowles as "a thin white bloke with glasses", thereby excluding the possibility that he could be of some ethnic extraction.
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